Pregnant and hormonal

     So I'm 12 weeks pregnant with my second baby, I'm a mess, I'm horrible to almost everyone, and of course, my husband gets the most of it. I feel like I'm being so crazy and mean, I have no patience whatsoever and I know my husband is really starting to get annoyed with it. I can't help it; it feels like someone else has come in and taken over control. No matter how much I talk to myself to rationalize the situation, it doesn't work until it's too late and I've taken things too far.

     My husband and I got into a huge argument this morning about me leaving our bedroom door open; It was the littlest thing but like everything else, escalated into something huge. I drove my husband to work, crying, and he got out of the car without saying a word. I don't really blame him, he puts up with so much of the stupid mood swings. He actually said that I'm a b**ch all the time and he has to just put up with it, I know that is a bit harsh of him but I know how true it is on the other hand. Everyone has a breaking point and he reached his today so no bashing on him.

     I feel like I'm ruining my marriage and I hate this, I apologize for the way I'm being all the time but that only helps until the next time I lose my mind. My first pregnancy, I was such a wonderful pregnant woman, we were so close and I was so happy all the time. My only thought is that this is a girl and that is why I am so hormonal. I really hope this goes away or eases off once my body regulates with the hormones.

     I just don't know what to do, what is he thinking about? Is he still really angry? Does he hate who I've become? Will he be there when I go pick him up from work? What will happen tonight? Will he accept my apology? Does he love me still? I'm hurting myself, my husband and my family and I hate myself for doing this and not being able to control it.

I want to know that everything will be okay...Logically I think I know it will be it just doesn't feel that way right now.